Tuesday, June 13, 2023
My PRIDE Month Moment: Abbie Fish
Throughout PRIDE month, USA Swimming will celebrate members of our community making an impact. Abbie Fish, current Founder/Technique Coach at Swim Like A. Fish and U.S. Masters swim coach for the Lakeside Masters Team, tells us their story as a non-binary individual who uses they/them pronouns.
Fish’s Background in Swimming
Since learning how to swim at four years old at a local YMCA, Abbie Fish knew they were destined to be around the water. “I don’t remember a life without swimming,” Fish said. At five years old, Fish started swimming competitively and continued their career as a scholarship student-athlete at the University of Georgia.
“My very first coaching job was a masters team,” Fish said. “I’ve worked at USA Swimming as an intern and coached at Nashville Aquatic Club, The Race Club, Ritter Sports Performance and now my own virtual business. Additionally, I’m a consultant for U.S. Paralympic Swimming and work with the Swimming Singapore Association on continuing education opportunities for their coaches.”
Most recently, Fish was an assistant coach at USA Swimming’s Regional Diversity Select Camp in San Jose, California, where athletes trained on campus at San Jose State and had the opportunity to hear from Olympian and current National Team member Natalie Hinds.
“It was an amazing experience,” Fish said. “For me, being included in a diversity camp means I feel responsible for giving the swimmers a great representation of someone who is authentically themself. I love being able to give back to the swimming community, one that has given me so much.”
Fish Becoming Their Authentic Self
“My journey to figuring out who I am outside of swimming was a very long and tough path,” Fish said. “I hid behind my athlete identity for a long time because it was easier but my mental health and my swimming career suffered. I’ve been blessed with some great role models and mentors throughout my life but I also felt a disconnect to some of these people because a lot of them weren’t ‘like me.’”
At 26 years old, a friend introduced Fish to the word non-binary and they/them pronouns, it was then they were able to make sense of their internal struggles.
“Being non-binary basically means I choose not to align with any gender,” Fish continued. “I believe gender, the way you move around the world and your appearance, can differ from your physical traits. I choose not to participate in what women should look like and/or do based on what society has traditionally taught us.”
Early in Fish’s coaching career, they found themselves connecting with male colleagues by “playing a part of adjusting who I was to fit in.” This is called code switching, where individuals change their speech style based on their individual circumstances. For Fish, it was to fit in with their male colleagues.
“I don’t think code-switching is necessarily a bad thing when you know who you are and understand what you are doing,” Fish said. “My problem was I had no concept of my own footing and grounding while I was doing this.”
In 2018, Fish made a big step in changing their personal appearance.
“I cut my hair and remember feeling like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders,” Fish said. “But I was so nervous about how the swimming community would accept me. I didn’t want my relationships to change because of how I looked.”
To Fish’s surprise, there was very little to be nervous about.
“There was really no change within my closer, more personal relationships,” Fish said. “I think the closest people to me weren’t surprised at all. Going against gender norms often has hiccups or awkward interactions in society, led by being misgendered, but for the most part, the swimming community has been very receptive and supportive of me.”
Understanding Identities and Advice for Coaches
“I think often people are misinformed on labels and assume because I identify as non-binary that’s how I see my entire identity but just like everybody else, I am a complex human with multiple facets to who I am,” Fish said. “For me, being part of the LGBTQ+ society is really important, but it isn’t all of me. I strive to be a great family member, aunt, sibling, role model to my swimmers and the best swim coach I can be – all while identifying as non-binary.”
Throughout PRIDE month and beyond, Fish knows coaches can make a lasting impact on athletes who are struggling.
“The process for some athletes can take time,” Fish said. “It also may include some trial and error. Sometimes certain words are easier to identify with, like being a swimmer. Try to stay open to an evolving conversation with them and be patient.”
“You don’t know what you don’t know,” Fish continued. “I think it’s great for coaches to gain some education on terms like gender non-confirming, cis-gender, gender fluid and AFAB/AMAB (assigned female at birth/assigned male at birth) to help make conversations more comfortable. I really appreciate USA Swimming’s Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) team because it’s starting these educational conversations for coaches, giving them better tools to support LGBTQ+ athletes. The athletes who might not look, speak or move through the world like them.”
Living Their Truth
Last year, over five years after cutting their hair, Fish outwardly admitted to the world they are part of the LGBTQ+ community by participating in a Speedo PRIDE photo shoot.
“I was a nervous wreck the night before it was being released,” Fish recalled. “Afterwards, my phone wouldn’t stop buzzing for over a week and a half. I got so many ‘Congratulations’ and ‘I’m so proud of you’ texts; I cried every day the first week. It was amazing to finally have (being part of the LGBTQ+ community) off my chest and see the amount of support and encouragement I got from friends, family and the entire swimming community for speaking my truth.”
“It caused more of a reaction out of me than I anticipated, because at that point, I was already out to my family and friends,” Fish said. “I would be driving to or from the pool and I’d just break out in tears. The responses were overwhelming and beautiful, it was a lot more than I ever expected.”
Fish’s advice if you are struggling? “It might be the scariest moment of your life (to speak your truth) but at the same time, you’ll feel a sense of peace you’ve never felt before. There is no rush to your process and no timeline (or time standard) to hit within your life journey, so be kind to yourself and trust your intuition. You’ll know exactly when it’s right for you.”
Fish’s Background in Swimming
Since learning how to swim at four years old at a local YMCA, Abbie Fish knew they were destined to be around the water. “I don’t remember a life without swimming,” Fish said. At five years old, Fish started swimming competitively and continued their career as a scholarship student-athlete at the University of Georgia.
“My very first coaching job was a masters team,” Fish said. “I’ve worked at USA Swimming as an intern and coached at Nashville Aquatic Club, The Race Club, Ritter Sports Performance and now my own virtual business. Additionally, I’m a consultant for U.S. Paralympic Swimming and work with the Swimming Singapore Association on continuing education opportunities for their coaches.”
Most recently, Fish was an assistant coach at USA Swimming’s Regional Diversity Select Camp in San Jose, California, where athletes trained on campus at San Jose State and had the opportunity to hear from Olympian and current National Team member Natalie Hinds.
“It was an amazing experience,” Fish said. “For me, being included in a diversity camp means I feel responsible for giving the swimmers a great representation of someone who is authentically themself. I love being able to give back to the swimming community, one that has given me so much.”
Fish Becoming Their Authentic Self
“My journey to figuring out who I am outside of swimming was a very long and tough path,” Fish said. “I hid behind my athlete identity for a long time because it was easier but my mental health and my swimming career suffered. I’ve been blessed with some great role models and mentors throughout my life but I also felt a disconnect to some of these people because a lot of them weren’t ‘like me.’”
At 26 years old, a friend introduced Fish to the word non-binary and they/them pronouns, it was then they were able to make sense of their internal struggles.
“Being non-binary basically means I choose not to align with any gender,” Fish continued. “I believe gender, the way you move around the world and your appearance, can differ from your physical traits. I choose not to participate in what women should look like and/or do based on what society has traditionally taught us.”
Early in Fish’s coaching career, they found themselves connecting with male colleagues by “playing a part of adjusting who I was to fit in.” This is called code switching, where individuals change their speech style based on their individual circumstances. For Fish, it was to fit in with their male colleagues.
“I don’t think code-switching is necessarily a bad thing when you know who you are and understand what you are doing,” Fish said. “My problem was I had no concept of my own footing and grounding while I was doing this.”
In 2018, Fish made a big step in changing their personal appearance.
“I cut my hair and remember feeling like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders,” Fish said. “But I was so nervous about how the swimming community would accept me. I didn’t want my relationships to change because of how I looked.”
To Fish’s surprise, there was very little to be nervous about.
“There was really no change within my closer, more personal relationships,” Fish said. “I think the closest people to me weren’t surprised at all. Going against gender norms often has hiccups or awkward interactions in society, led by being misgendered, but for the most part, the swimming community has been very receptive and supportive of me.”
Understanding Identities and Advice for Coaches
“I think often people are misinformed on labels and assume because I identify as non-binary that’s how I see my entire identity but just like everybody else, I am a complex human with multiple facets to who I am,” Fish said. “For me, being part of the LGBTQ+ society is really important, but it isn’t all of me. I strive to be a great family member, aunt, sibling, role model to my swimmers and the best swim coach I can be – all while identifying as non-binary.”
Throughout PRIDE month and beyond, Fish knows coaches can make a lasting impact on athletes who are struggling.
“The process for some athletes can take time,” Fish said. “It also may include some trial and error. Sometimes certain words are easier to identify with, like being a swimmer. Try to stay open to an evolving conversation with them and be patient.”
“You don’t know what you don’t know,” Fish continued. “I think it’s great for coaches to gain some education on terms like gender non-confirming, cis-gender, gender fluid and AFAB/AMAB (assigned female at birth/assigned male at birth) to help make conversations more comfortable. I really appreciate USA Swimming’s Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) team because it’s starting these educational conversations for coaches, giving them better tools to support LGBTQ+ athletes. The athletes who might not look, speak or move through the world like them.”
Living Their Truth
Last year, over five years after cutting their hair, Fish outwardly admitted to the world they are part of the LGBTQ+ community by participating in a Speedo PRIDE photo shoot.
“I was a nervous wreck the night before it was being released,” Fish recalled. “Afterwards, my phone wouldn’t stop buzzing for over a week and a half. I got so many ‘Congratulations’ and ‘I’m so proud of you’ texts; I cried every day the first week. It was amazing to finally have (being part of the LGBTQ+ community) off my chest and see the amount of support and encouragement I got from friends, family and the entire swimming community for speaking my truth.”
“It caused more of a reaction out of me than I anticipated, because at that point, I was already out to my family and friends,” Fish said. “I would be driving to or from the pool and I’d just break out in tears. The responses were overwhelming and beautiful, it was a lot more than I ever expected.”
Fish’s advice if you are struggling? “It might be the scariest moment of your life (to speak your truth) but at the same time, you’ll feel a sense of peace you’ve never felt before. There is no rush to your process and no timeline (or time standard) to hit within your life journey, so be kind to yourself and trust your intuition. You’ll know exactly when it’s right for you.”